Lady Gaga arrives at the slammer in a custom made prison striped latex dress. However, the complicated inmate hierarchy and the corresponding attire requires that the guards remove Miss Gah's clothing, as they are not regulation.
Paper Gangsta is playing on the boom box in the prison yard. This song always makes me feel tough, so I think it's right for the setting. Speaking of tough, what could be more bad-ass then seeing the world through smoldering cigarettes, literally. Nice shades, Gaga. In the prison yard she makes a friend and does a brief advertisement for Virgin Mobile.
Then she gets a call.
Hello, hello baby, the sweet sound of Miss Gah's purr/ She has got no service in the pen you see, see/ Bee has got a message for Miss Gah that can not wait/ Sorry Bee she can't right now shes kinda busy/ She's ka-ka-kinda busy
Time for an underwear dance!
Thank God she's moved on to low rise thongs. All those high cut panties she's sported in the past really didn't do much to confirm her womanhood. Not that I ever doubted it, and not that she shouldn't have played up the rumors for a buck and a good laugh; I just feel more comfortable when the standard woman parts on top match the standard woman parts on the bottom. It's less distracting this way, with the low rise thongs.
Another Virgin Mobile add and damn does she look hot checking those texts and twitter updates! She looks like a younger, hotter Madonna here with a little something extra. I can't put my finger on it though. Is she from outer space? Has she maybe been there on holiday? She has a unique glow.
Bee bails her out and brings snacks, yes! Prison food sucks! Gaga almost ate the leather finger gloves off of her pointers, middles, and indexes. The pinkies wouldn't have been worth it, too much stitching, not enough hide. They drive off in the Pussy Wagon and Honey Bee has her solo. Gaga photographs it but can't seem to capture the pain in Bee's eyes. Why do you keep calling me, Jigga? You know I'm out with my girl and we're getting ready to roll some heads at that diner down by the Interstate. I know, I know, I hate their food too, that's part of the motivation here, part of the plan. You remember the plan, right? So Jigga, why are you calling me right now? What? No, I don't know where you left your keys. I'll call you later. Click.
To the diner to make some burgers!
Always ingenious and with an insatiable desire to create something out of garbage, Gaga makes a chapeau out of a few old rotary phones. Meanwhile, in a dream or a memory long fogged by time, Bee hops alluringly across a motel room floor.
The dancing ensues! No calls will be taken! Voicemail will be your master and your maker! Besides, I have mustard on my fingers and don't want to ruin my brand new Virgin Mobile phone with texting and such, thinks Miss Gah.
Why do murderers in Gaga videos always wear those Mickey Mouse flip-up glasses? Bee, you're totally giving yourself away! G did that right after she killed Erik in the Paparazzi video and it totally got out! Take the glasses off before someone sees! Oh, wait, never mind. They're all dead.
All-American psycho dance of the dead bodies. Ewwww! More dancing minus the dead bodies and plus two mosquito net dresses. Then they drive off into the horizon in the Pussy Wagon. Will they get away with it? Will the cops catch them and throw Gaga back in the slammer? Will she be reunited with her prison yard hubby and will Bee be jealous?
To be continued...
Oh man, what a video! What a sultry masterpiece! They make a good team, Miss Gah and Honey Bee. Can't wait to see who they murder next!
No, really. I love this video and if I had to pick a favorite part it would be when Gaga snaps her teeth in the kitchen. She has really nice teeth.
See for yourself.
The video made me think of Gwen Stefani.
ReplyDeleteSome of the things I went "gaga" over:
1. The cigarette glasses are pretty badass as you noted. 2. The shameless product placement for Virgin & Diet Coke (& Plenty of Fish dating website?). 3. The "No swearing" sign in the background of the indoor prison hang out room (that's what they call those, right?).
However... as much as I love Beyonce (well, I guess I don't love her that much, but I like her a lot), I don't feel like she really contributed anything. I personally could have done without her.
Second the Gwen Stefani. I've been wondering why more people don't bring up the fact that many songs on Gaga's album sound just like Gwen Stefani's solo songs. She is like Gwen * Madonna + more fantastic clothes.
ReplyDelete