Oh I never tire of seeing that Letters To Juliet commercial – I just love Amanda Seyfried!Also on the tee-vee last night was this little show called Gossip Girl, maybe you've heard of it? Well, in case you haven't, it's a show about gorgeous teenagers that never go to class but instead tromp around the Upper East Side dressed only in Donna Karan and Bottega Veneta. They fight and drink and smooch and fight some more - hearts are broken and mild cases of alcoholism become severe. It's just like real life. Let me tell you about it.
On tonight's episode Serena's dad finally showed his face, we found out Lily's secret, Jenny teamed up with Chuck to steal away Nate, Dan got a rejection letter, and Blair almost kissed a Columbia boy. The most awesome part of the episode was when Serena agreed to have coffee with her dad but requested first that he give her a moment to change into a more appropriate outfit: a low cut, short, red dress. The saddest part of the episode was watching Chuck watch Blair reaffirm her broken heart to him. Oh those two!
But before I get into the full-on recap I have a few things to say. First of all, of course Serena is a Baldwin. Second of all, that was not a Bushwick party. If it had been there would have been more drugs, less art, and no one from the cast of Gossip Girl. And third of all, Nate is an insecure brunette who has an unnatural love for designer handbags - duh! OK, I feel better now.
So let's start with Billy Baldwin. Yes, he is Serena's papa, and also Lily's doctor. Lily's awful secret is that she has cancer and that the ex-hubby is treating her. It’s very sad and serious because it’s the only real crisis on this show about fake drama. Because of that, most of the episode was very somber and we got to see a lot of footage of Serena motionless, deep in thought, looking into the distance, blinking. Here’s what happened: Lily got some good test results, Lily got some bad test results, everyone worried and Serena kept blinking. So far it seems like William (that’s what they call Billy Baldwin on the show) is being a good guy and has nothing more then his ex-wife’s best interest in mind. That being said, he acts so creepy. Rufus doesn’t trust him, that’s for sure. Serena is at first a little bit upset about his fourteen year disappearance, but she eventually comes around. And Lily, in her fragile state, seems quite enamored by him. There are also a few awkward scenes where Lily passionately kisses Rufus while he, unable to trust her but equally unable to push away a sick women, takes on the motionless blinking Serena pose.
Last night’s William character was only bested in the creepy obsessive department by Jenny the Snake as she continued to try to steal Nate from Serena. Here’s how far Jenny got: She slept over in Nate’s bed (while he slept on the couch), she made Serena suspicious and caused her to fight with her man, she partied with Nate (at a party that supposedly took place in Bushwick but was probably really in Dumbo), and she got Nate drunk and alone. But even with Chuck’s master plan going just right, Jenny was still unable to bait her Nate. As she leaned in for the kiss Nate quickly pulled away saying, “Jenny, I’m ga- with Serena.” Poor Little J, always going for the unavailable type. After being rebuffed by her crush with Serena watching, no less, Jenny gathered up her silver pentagrams, clove incense, and JTHM books and crawled out the window onto the slippery fire escape. Once there, she opened up the antique locket hanging from her necklace and with a light blow aided by the chilly night breeze, out flew a golden lock of hair. She watched it fly around for a moment until it caught a rain drop and plummeted down and out of sight. He’s gone, she thought, gone forever. And with that she pulled the long strap of her Alexander Wang bag over her head and across her chest and climbed down the slippery fire escape into the black night below.
Meanwhile, at a party in Dumbo, Dan and Vanessa had a fight about something I was so completely disinterested in that to attempt to recap it here would be pointless and I know you don’t care anyway.
Also at the party were Chuck with a couple of Russian models and Blair with the Columbia Basketball team’s MVP (and by Columbia Basketball team’s MVP I mean tall guy that attends Columbia that has played basketball a few times in his life). But nothing came of either the Blair coupling or the Chuck sandwich because both are still hopelessly in love with each other and totally heartbroken and not anywhere near being able to move on. Like Dorota said, “Love is a head wound.” And they are both still hemorrhaging blood. So it was sad. Basically the whole episode was sad; between Lily being sick, Rufus being stuck, Jenny alone in the rain, mascara dripping down her cheeks, Dan being his regular pathetic self, and these two being broken up still, it was downright depressing.
So that’s that. Another week in the lives of the glamorous Upper East Side teen elite. The more we watch, the more we see, it’s really only pretty from the outside looking in.
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